Recently I've started working out. Why? Because I once saw a post on tumblr it said "I like to go running because you never know who's going to show up and tell you to" with pictures from TV shows and movies where people are suddenly told to run without warning. That motivated me beyond belief. What if the Doctor sows up and forces me to run? Im gonna need to be in shape! It's great motivation even if I know that's never gonna happen. I run and tell myself "one day I'm gonna need to run for my life". All I do recently is run from my life. I run from everything realistic. I'm in love with fictional characters and places I've never been. My dream is London. I want nothing more than to go live in London. I don't know why but London seems like somewhere different. But I need to get an education. then ill need to pay off my debts and by then hopefully I'll have a steady job as a music teacher... probably here. Probably in Calgary. I feel so stuck here. I told my sister today that I thought Calgary was boring. There's so much to see and all I'm going to see is this little City, this little world, this tiny little solar system.
I think I'm nothing but a hopeless dreamer, but its necessary for my sanity. Those years of my life I spent completely in touch with reality were when my depression got worse. I was so sad just six months ago. But since I've been day dreaming and imagining having adventures my mental state has gotten much better. Maybe that's what everyone needs, a little magic. I'm scared though, to turn eighteen. I'm mostly scared for after university. I haven't even started yet but I can't help but think about when I finish, then I have to go off into the world and be an adult. It's like, when you stop going to school, you're not allowed to dream anymore. I've seen far too many adults lose there sparkle and I don't want that to happen to me. I don't wish that upon anyone.
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